Wednesday, November 16, 2011

On My Mind

Too much!!  That's what's on my mind.

1- I checked the Department of Child Care Services website today and noticed my complaint is filed as "founded" with a severity of 2 (serious), which means "Gross violation of ratios or serious physical injury have been reported."  I'm satisfied with that and it's time to move on.

2- You might be interested to know that I suck at communicating with my husband.  And since he doesn't take criticism well I end up keeping things to myself in order to avoid a fight.  I'm a great communicator with friends and the parent's of children I care for.  Just not when it comes to my husband (or parents).  I often have to find other ways to relieve the tension I feel and hold in regarding problems with Justin.  Writing it out works for me.

I'm having some frustration with my husband's handling of our children.  There, I said it.  I've always been thankful for a partner that is truly a parent with me instead of acting like a babysitter, and I still am.  I love that I am free to work in the evenings and on the weekends, go out with friends, whatever, with out worrying that he will forget to feed the kids or some other stupid thing.  (Yes, I've actually heard of this happening.)  

My (his) problem is a combination of him expecting WAY TOO MUCH and having very little patience lately.  I work so hard to keep a calm voice and have patience with the kids, I admit it freely.  It is easy with other peoples kids, but not my own.   It seems that Justin is constantly yelling/raising his voice now.  If  I can hear him loud and clear downstairs when he is in a nearly closed bathroom with a child upstairs, that's too loud!  You can't expect a child to listen when spoken to calmly if you start by yelling.  And he knows this!! The other part of that is just that he expects too much.  Noelle, at almost 5 years, is held to the same standards as her 7 1/2 year old brother.  Not cool.  I expect a lot from my kids, yes, but I try hard to be reasonable and age appropriate with it.  Adam has always been great at following directions and being responsible, but has been slacking off lately.  I'd say he is acting like a normal 7 year old, attitude and behavior wise.  (We're working on it.)  Justin is REALLY struggling with this.  Lastly, Justin has been frustrated himself by how much everyone is arguing with him.  I finally had to turn it back on him and ask him to consider if HE is the problem there.  I'm not actually having a problem with the Justin or the kids arguing with me.  So it seems to me he needs to look a little closer at his own actions in regards to all of us.  Okay, I got it out, I feel better now!  :)

3- So you know how I mentioned that I accepted the offer to stay with my current Nanny family after Little Girl is born?  Now we have to figure out salary for when I come back from Maternity leave.  Suffice it to say that we came to the table with very different thoughts on what I should be paid.  

Some background.  I work M-Th approx 34 hours a week at my employer's house.  Aside from my regular childcare duties I also do the baby's dishes and laundry, sweep, mop, vacuum, wipe down counters, dust, and 2-3 times a week I cook meals for the parent's dinner.  I am left with a recipe and all ingredients needed to prepare the meal during one of the baby's naps.  Oh, I also home make the baby food veggies.  

I am already very underpaid at under $13 an hour.  So after looking back at previous contracts I came up with a dollar amount for a new salary that would still allow me to "afford" to work.  (Hey, both daycare and B/A care are expensive!  I have to take home SOME money to make it worth my while.)  Turns out my employers were looking at it as a true Nanny share, not child bring along, in which case they would pay me $7.50 an hour.  They realize that's really low and are willing to go higher, but I gather they were thinking $9-10 an hour.  That pay would barely even cover my outgoing childcare costs I have to pay in order to go to work.  I was able to talk to the owner of the Nanny agency I usually work through (this position was through, not Colorado Nanny) today.  She gave me some hints and ideas to think about and talk with the family about when they come back to me after discussing it themselves.  Wish me luck!!

I think that's it!  It feels really good to write it out and empty my head a little.

1 comment:

  1. I was thinking about you tonight and thought I'd stop by here and catch up. I'm glad your daycare complaint was resolved to your satisfaction. Good for you standing up and speaking out. :)

    This thing that my brother struggles with is very much like my own battle. Without divulging too much personal information or commentary, I'll say that it boils down to a several points: personality of the parent, personality of the child, stressors in our lives, overall knowledge of what is appropriate for age/skills, and how we were raised. Anyway, you both are so lucky to have someone in your corner, even when it doesn't feel that way. I would give anything to have that.

    I hope you are able to get the salary you want and deserve. I know how it feels to have all of your money going towards daycare. :(

    Love to you always.........


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