That's how it feels to me. Wednesday I made a mistake. I was not trying to cause trouble or drama. I saw someone at a neighbor's house who I knew shouldn't be there and because I knew the homeowner would want to know about it I mentioned it to her. She did some checking into it and we learned it was not who I thought it was. The wrongly accused's husband is VERY upset with me, and for good reason. I know I made a mistake and I'm sorry.
I HATE confrontation and avoid it at all costs. I'm that person who doesn't say much, just listens. I'm a great listener and unless I know it will be well received I keep my opinions to myself. It's the best way to avoid confrontation and drama.
After realizing my mistake I knew I needed to apologize and make it right with the husband. Thursday afternoon I swallowed my pride and walked over to his house, children in tow, to make my apologies. The wife opens the door and tells me he ran upstairs and doesn't want to talk to me. I told her I came to apologize. She in turn asked where her apology was. WHAT?! I really don't believe I owe her any apology and I did not go to talk to her. I admit it got ugly from there. I may be mild tempered and quiet, but I get really defensive, really fast. She asked what my problem was and I told her, flat out. It wasn't pretty. I cussed. In front of my children.
I don't swear very often. And NEVER in front of my kids. I feel bad for speaking to her how I did.
Without going into details I'll just say I have ZERO respect for this person. The decisions she has made the last few months astound me and, honestly, hurt me inside. I am head over heels in love with her son, he is 1. I wouldn't be who I am if I could stand back and watch a child get tossed around in drama and have it NOT break my heart.
I tried several times to walk away. She kept getting in my face and not allowing me to talk. As we walked away Noelle turned to me and asked, "Mommy, why is she being so mean to you?" Even a 3 year old knew her behavior was wrong. I told her this person was not very happy so she is mean to other people.
I still feel very bad about the situation, I really do want to make it right.
I will try again today.
One last time.
I will try to watch my words and not lose my temper if confronted by her again.
I WILL swallow my pride and be a better person.
And now, I DO owe her an apology.